i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I intend to get homeless drunk
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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