Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
