too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
