just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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