You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
