so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
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