i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
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