butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
I wish i was in the wii world.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Randomize
