My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
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