You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
