im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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