Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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