Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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