So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
