a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
