East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
