He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
