my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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