so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
