I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
