I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
