Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
