i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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