Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
