I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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