You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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