I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
