her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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