I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
