i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
