It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
