I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
