I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
