I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
