thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize
