Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Threesome in a minivan. New low
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
