I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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