Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
