I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
