Welp...herpes.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
