she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
