Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
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