I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
My hand turned me down
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
