I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Randomize
