she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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