That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
