The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Fuck appropriateness.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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