You're my little dorito
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize