Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
