you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
